100indecisions: my chains are broken (cute | sad robot)
Yeah, so, the spring term begins tomorrow and I am not remotely ready. Copying from an e-mail to family because it's the only way I make substantive updates anymore:

My rhetoric class starts tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to because for some reason anything composition/rhetoric just doesn't work with my brain, plus my 10 a.m. aerobic kickboxing class (the only way I'm certain to get regular, decent exercise). Also the first class I'm teaching, ugh. This wouldn't be so bad except 75% of my "omg must get this done during the break" list is still...not done. Not really sure what the arrangements will be for my thesis or an independent study class either, which I need to work out with my adviser. So among other things I really, really need to revise my syllabus (tougher, more specific attendance policy, for one thing, because having like 8 people in class for the last quarter of the term does not make me happy), print up a class roster, and set up Blackboard by class time.

This wouldn't be a problem except first I have to finish this late paper...from the spring term last year...where the professor let me get an incomplete and I was supposed to get everything done over the semester...and I did except for the seminar paper, which...is what I'm still  working on now...which I really hope he'll give me a grade for even though it's stupidly late, because otherwise I'll have to retake that class starting Wednesday and that'll mess up my scheduling if I want to graduate on time (I need to get 9 new credits this term, see, so if 3 of them are repeat, I'll have to get credit instead of money for my DCS work or something to make up for it, which financially would not be great). All because of one paper, yes. Because I have issues, and depression isn't fun, and writing this specific paper has been only slightly less difficult than pulling teeth. So there's that. I've been at my friend Calli's house most of the week, alternating  between video games (she plays and I watch, for the most part, which...is a pretty good way to experience a game if you not good at it yourself) and trying to beat academic words out of my brain. I miss Scully but I've been getting some stuff done, so. Also she's writing a Dungeons & Dragons campaign so I'll be doing some actual tabletop RPG stuff this term? You know, because I really needed that +10 to my nerdiness stat? Whatever, I REGRET NOTHING. Not the nerdiness, anyway.

The other problem is that this semester is likely to be CRAZY and my ability to deal with it is no less crippled than it's been for the past couple years and more, so...I need to figure out ways to stay on top of things more than I have before, but I can only do that if I can somehow make it not overwhelming, and even the planning involved in theoretically making it not overwhelming is...overwhelming. So that's cool. (Basically this post sums up my ENTIRE LIFE. It's sad.)

Oh right, and one of my major goals for break was to research and apply for some library schools, which didn't happen because I had other priorities I was putting off, so I think I've mostly decided--partly by default since deadlines are coming up but also because it's probably the right decision--to hold off on more school until at least next spring rather than next fall. I'll have been in postsecondary education for six years straight once I finish my master's in English, and I'm just really, really tired of being in school. Figure I'll fill in with jobs from the temp agency I worked through this summer to fill in since I wouldn't be planning to commit to anything indefinitely.

I'm expecting little in the way of replies except my sister saying on Facebook or in person "Good LORD you ramble, I couldn't get through that and no one else did, and omg D&D you are so embarrassing," but...whatever. One of the few things I actually like about myself is that I don't try to present myself as something I'm not, and let's face it, I am rambly and VERY, VERY NERDY.

Oh, and then I posted  this on Tumblr, which I will also paste here because...why not, maybe someone will have a helpful idea:

So here is my problem, internet: I can accomplish things without stress and panic if they are not overwhelming. I’ve made something of a New Year’s resolution to write at least 10 minutes of fiction a day, and I’ve been keeping up with that so far, making good progress in a fic. This way I can always have some kind of creative project going that I actually enjoy. I’ve also resolved to grade two tests/papers a day starting the day I get them back, which is also not overwhelming but will get the grading done faster and easier than the idiotic keep-putting-it-off-and-grade-everything-in-a-panic-after-like-a-month thing I’ve been doing.

So, okay. Maybe I will manage to keep up with class reading and progress on my thesis and stuff if I can make the tasks small and concrete enough to not be overwhelming. Problem is….the planning involved in making huge things not overwhelming is itself overwhelming. Even thinking about what I’d need to do to get to that point is also overwhelming. >_<

So. Uh. Any advice?

100indecisions: my chains are broken (dw | the original badass longcoat)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] lexiedoh , because I have no life and feel like doing a survey/meme since I haven't in ages. (I think I've had the seven things meme sitting around half-finished for, like, a year.) And I'm sure this is one of those things where you're only supposed to bold stuff and not explain them, but I imagine occasionally I will not be able to resist.

I should probably be doing something useful now, of course )


Mar. 28th, 2009 07:08 pm
100indecisions: my chains are broken (pd | Ned whimper)
Got back late last night from Juneau, stayed up doing something I needed to for class, crashed. Got up at 1 p.m. (the last hour or so before that was mostly not sleeping because I just couldn't make myself get up) with a sore throat, and have been getting increasingly tired and achey since then. Now I feel too tired and achey to do anything, which is awesome. I have about ten things written in my planner to do today, all of which take forever, which is why I never seem to get anything done. And I have a lot to do. I need to get a job. So I need to apply for some. I also need to work on marketing my paid blog so I can maybe make some money on that, since now I'm making almost none. I have just over a month until I graduate, which means I have that much time to write most of my thesis and also seven other papers (one is due Monday). There are paid surveys I could do for extra money, and I need to list a bunch of stuff my dad doesn't want on half.com so I can sell them for him and make some other money. Also I really need to e-mail my adviser and hash out what exactly I'm even doing with my thesis--great timing, right?--and finish a mix CD for someone I don't actually know.

Only I'm sick and everything hurts right now, and as soon as I start thinking that maybe I can get some things done I start thinking of other things I need to do. And I can't get anything done because it all takes so much time and ugh I feel like crap. I already want to go back to bed. Body, this is really bad timing, I have a paper due at noon on Monday.

Annnd I used my 30,000 frequent flier miles to get tickets to bring [livejournal.com profile] faeriemaiden up for my graduation, so I keep having random flail moments about that, like, "Hey I wonder what movies/shows [livejournal.com profile] warriorofshadow and I should make her watch when she will BE HERE REALLY SOON OMGOMG" and "Hey, I never did go to the Chocolate Lounge, I should take Jolene there!" and then that kind of gets poisoned because it's like "Eeee Jolene will be here in just over a month!...which means that's how much time I have to FINISH MY THESIS and write SEVEN OTHER PAPERS OH HELP."

100indecisions: my chains are broken (dw | Doctor whoa)
Yeah, I'm behind on some of my shows. Shut up. Once everything gets started, this semester I'll be watching Supernatural, Fringe, Chuck, Pushing Daisies, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, The Sarah Jane Adventures, and The Office. Also [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda's recap made me curious enough about True Blood to try the pilot ep, and...well, the vampire fangs are very lame, as are certain other bits of it, and as it's HBO there's an awful lot more sex and language than on most such shows, but...vampires. And Sookie is cute, and the worldbuilding is interesting, and...I don't know, really. Moonlight's not coming back and Twilight just makes me laugh (and the usually reliable Vivian Vande Velde's Companions of the Night was fairly awful after a very promising beginning; [livejournal.com profile] warriorofshadow knows what I mean--and should read Sunshine, stat, because it's a really excellent vampire novel).

Cut for spoilers on...all the shows mentioned above, I suppose, even though I'm behind )

Speaking of fic, what I'm talking about here is my [livejournal.com profile] dw_cross fic, which still has no comments and in fact probably hasn't really been read. *tear* It's insanely long and needs the abovementioned edits as well as a few more, so at some point it'll be reposted elsewhere, but I worked freaking hard on that thing, even if I'm not overly pleased with it.

...annnnd right now I should really be studying, working on my thesis proposal (some months overdue, yes), working on the column due Friday, picking pictures to send for a calendar at UAA due tomorrow, writing an entry on my travel blog, or making myself some kind of food before the Christian Union meeting at 7:30, which...should be interesting considering since Sunday (and more so yesterday and today) I've been at the stage of my cold where I pretty much can't talk. I already skipped a Creative Writing Society meeting I wanted to attend and a meeting of the student paper, largely for that reason.

Oh, and I just wasted a bunch of time last night on last.fm trying to see whose concerts I could actually attend and now have even more possibilities, some more realistic than others, so my poll in the last entry still very much needs your input.

Holy cow.

Jun. 21st, 2008 11:53 pm
100indecisions: my chains are broken (dw | iDalek)
It's near midnight and I'm tired from getting almost no sleep last night, and I want sleep too bad to stir up my flail and squee and capslock again, which would be way too easy. But I just have to say:

"Turn Left" was made of total and complete win with little crunchy bits of awesome on top. I mean. You guys, seriously, it was awesome in basically every way. I swear Rusty's been reading my mind or something.

Proper review tomorrow, I hope, because I want to re-watch and also pretty much go over every single thing I loved, which was nearly everything (and that teaser for next week. OMG.), and also because did I mention it's late? And I spent most of today studying for and then taking my History of Alaska final and got in...about three hours of work. So I need to do some of that now.

But dang. This episode. Seriously. Seriously.

Okay, I need to be serious about that "proper review tomorrow" now, operative word being tomorrow, 'cause did I mention how I'm going to get myself back into flail mode again? And then I'll never sleep. Which I probably won't anyway, because OMG.

So I'll leave you with this: Rusty, after this ep, I am this close to forgiving you for the epic WTFery of "Last of the Time Lords," so much so that for the first time I'm almost sad you're leaving. For once you got everything right. Mark me, though, if you keep the next two eps from being completely made of awesome like they clearly want to be and are trying to be, I will hunt you down. Are we clear on that? Okay. Cool.
100indecisions: my chains are broken (Doctor OMG)
Okay, so, I've been checking my final grades a little obssessively today, because tomorrow they're all supposed to be up ([livejournal.com profile] avonleigh, I lied: one professor had told me they'd be up Monday, but actually he didn't know, and the site says the 21st), and I figured--well, why not? So I check this morning. Two new classes are up, all A's, so I know I'm okay in the Honors tutorial (knew that for a while, actually), US History (of course), and now economics, which is a huge relief, because I thought I did very poorly on the final. That was a few hours ago. So just now I go and check. Couple new ones up: College Algebra, A. Yes. Still missing poli-sci, about which I'm somewhat concerned but not too much, and anthropology, about which I'm not really.

It's at this point that I notice something else important on my list of final grades:


After the first heart-attack couple seconds have passed, it occurs to me to check what class it's for, and I discover that I have a B in aerobics. A B IN AEROBICS. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Well, it's not, actually, because the only thing that could possibly have dropped me an entire letter grade would be skipping class. Which I never did. I skipped kung fu once because I was feeling sick, and I skipped aerobic kickboxing last semester because of my elbow, but I never skipped aerobics. And I handed in an extra-credit exercise log.

So I've e-mailed the instructor--whom I like a lot, so I'm assuming she just made a mistake--but still. A mistaken B that can be fixed is a lot better than a plain old B, but I didn't need that panic adrenaline rush, kthxby.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. And share the good news about math and econ, I guess, although the whole B thing kind of wiped that from my head...

Well, crap.

Jul. 4th, 2006 01:22 am
100indecisions: my chains are broken (hp | Dear Body: I hate you.)
I don't know if anyone here remembers me talking about how my back was bothering me part of fall semester and all of spring semester, but I think I'd done something to a muscle in my lower back shortly before Christmas break and kept reinjuring it. It finally healed, I thought, once I got out of school and stopped hauling my backpack around; even dragging suitcases and crap around in D.C. didn't seem to bother it overmuch.

Maybe it was goofing around on a playground Tuesday night that did it, although I didn't feel it then, or maybe--I find this more likely--it was something at work, but it's back. It'll stop hurting for a while and then I'll reinjure it again with something like reaching up a bit too high to hang up something at work, or leaning over the tub to turn on the shower. Right now there's a sort of painful pressure on the right side of my lower back, about level with my hipbones. It'll probably be gone by tomorrow, but I can reinjure it by bending wrong, crouching wrong, stretching wrong, lifting something too heavy, etc. ad nauseum.

Not cool. I wonder when my next appointment is with my orthopedist...I finally got sick of the last one and switched, especially since his attitude on any back pain I mentioned was "Well, if it's not in the shoulder area with the curve from your kyphosis, then it probably doesn't matter and I don't really care". Don't remember what the new one said about this problem, though; he'd better care, since it's suddenly turned into a really recurring issue.

Also, I hate academic papers. Guess who had an entire month to write one five-page paper for her summer poli-sci class? Guess who kept telling herself for weeks that she was going to start it tomorrow? Guess who put it off until the night before it was due, just like always?

You get three guesses, and the first two don't count.

Yeah, I've really got to try to kick this procrastination habit someday.

*goes back to typing the hated paper* Oh, right, and then tomorrow I need to write up an essay for the honors office, and the day after I need to figure what I'm going to say about the D.C. trip at the very last class on Thursday. And then I get to use the rest of the summer for whatever I want, provided that includes ordering next semester's books, applying for more scholarships, getting a new job for next semester, and trying to decide on a major.

100indecisions: my chains are broken (tuesday_skyline)
I was mad at myself for taking too long this morning and getting in late to my English final, but then I got out of there even earlier than I would have on a normal day (in theory, the final wasn't even supposed to be over now, and I've been out of there for...gosh...nearly two hours? I have my honors oral exam coming up, which I promise I'm going to study for shortly, but yeah...

Anyway, besides getting out of English so early, I have various reasons why this might just be a good day, even though it's still finals week:
  • The English "final" was supposed to be a three-minute presentation, and today the professor cut it down to one whole minute, in which we told the class about a single piece of writing. That class is such a joke. I already know I got a hundred percent on my portfolio, and with my hundred points of extra credit, I only need five out of a hundred points on the cover letter and résumé to get an A in the class.
  • Finals week is nearly over. What could be better?
  • I used some of my extra time to go down to Value Village, because I was there Tuesday before getting my foot looked at again and I found this great demin skirt that had a corset-style lace-up thing instead of a zipper on the front--and didn't get it, because I wasn't in the mood to try on anything but shirts, with my foot and all. So today I went back for it, and it wasn't there, but I did find two Artemis Fowl books (The Arctic Incident and The Eternity Code) and something that will pass quite well for a Ravenclaw tie. It's not official, of course, but it's dark blue with silver and bronze pinstripes. It mixes book and movie canon, heh.
  • I just discovered Absynthe Muse, which looks like an awesome site, and I'm going to sign up as soon as I get home.
  • Through a link on Absynthe Muse, I also just discovered wikiHow. Heck yes. Instructions for almost everything? This will be great if I ever need to know how something's done for a story. And I can add it to my Firefox search bar when I get home. YAY.
100indecisions: my chains are broken (eliot winter)
1) Just found a nice long list of Edna St. Vincent Millay's poems. I've only looked at a few, but it's really rather interesting--I haven't seen any others in the same style as "Dirge without Music." Apparently she could write in a number of different styles. Whatever the case, "Dirge without Music" is worth so many different kinds of squeeing.

2) I just titled all the photographs in my portfolio. Out of 13 titles, two are from Eisley songs, one is from the abovementioned "Dirge witout Music," and six are from Eliot. *does the geekish happy-dance*

3) Remember how last week's Honors newsletter had a quote from The Waste Land? Well, so does this week's:
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

100indecisions: my chains are broken (eliot winter)
So, we're reading Much Ado about Nothing while we're in D.C. (as well as Macbeth and A Midsummer Night's Dream, but Much Ado is the only one I'm reading at the moment), and I made a discovery within the first act: in this play, at least, Shakespeare uses "an" instead of "if"! And this set me off onto my own little geekish squee-fest, because Tolkien did that all the time in the Histories, and for some reason I just really, really liked it once I got used to it.

And then I came into the Honors lab this morning and checked the newsletter on the bulletin board, which hasn't been updated, but I got to see last week's Quote of the Week again: T. S. Eliot, "I will show you fear in a handful of dust." OMGELIOTSQUEE.

All done now, but I really just had to spread the geekish delight. (Which reminds me: I have no geekish icon currently uploaded. I really must rectify this situation. I suppose one of my Eliot icons will do for this entry, though.)

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